Fat Bikes Fornever!

Misfit Psycles does not make a Fat Bike.
Misfit Psycles has no plans to make a Fat Bike.

If you care why, this is that.

There have been trends, novelties and deviations in the past.
There will be more.

In many or most cases the only thing more ridiculous than the products produced (to satiate these fabricated desires) are the justifications that preempted their (actual) existence.

Like any emphatic generalization, the logic spewed holds (well within) a margin of truth.

A basis from which further assumptions and even greater declarations can be assumed and mounted. Conclusions concluded exclusively on the conclusion concluded previously…repeated ad nauseam until only a faint line can be drawn between the here and there.

A fragment of thought, a portion of logic that provides the necessary impetuous corporate promoters need to make a case for necessary consumption.

The truth is far less glamourous. The truth sells fewer bikes.

In some cases, some of the times, for some people, maybe.

Case in point: Snow Bikes, Fat Bikes, Moon Bikes, etc.

fuck your fat bike

Do you need 4″ rubber to ride all year?
NO – assuming you are and amongst the 75% of the cycling population that does not reside in a climate with (significant) accumulation.

Of the remaining 25%, do you need 4″ rubber to ride all year?
NO – chances are you are amongst the (further) majority that reside in climates were ‘riding’ is negatively effected less than 10-30 days a year. Your rides are more likely to be interrupted by other meteorological incidents, you are more likely to NEED a WIND BIKE or RAIN BIKE (complete with secondary seals and water proofing) than a SNOW BIKE.

The way I see the numbers, there are four groups of WINTER riders:

  1. Riders – They ride all year. All winter. All bikes. All places. It’s hard knocks, no complaints.
  2. Winter Riders – They ride all year.  Most of the winter. They may have a modified bike (gears inlieu of single, low pressure knobby tires etc).  It’s a tough go and that’s the point.
  3. Seasonal Riders – They ride, weather permitting. Several bikes and best of intentions. Riding is fun, riding in ‘weather’ or ‘less than ideal’ conditions, is not.
  4. Novelty Riders – They ride when they have something to ride. It’s not about riding or weather or anything other than the interaction of consumer and product…about that product compensating for the deficiencies of that consumer.

Assuming 1 and 2 will ride regardless, the primary market for Fat/Snow Bike sales falls to 3 and 4.

I am neither 3 nor 4.
I have been riding in snow as long as I’ve ridden dirt.
I ride what I have and encourage you to do the same.

That said, if buying a Fat bike will get you off the couch this winter, buy one.

Fucked if I care.

6 thoughts on “Fat Bikes Fornever!”

  1. I agree! Having a Fatbike just because it works better in some situations is dumb. Yeah! So are DH bikes for downhilling! Yeah! And DJ bikes for dirt jumping! And roadbikes for roading! And CX’s for fireroading! Yeah!
    I commute on my BMX because it’s a tough go. Yeah! And belt drives for…?….Yeah!

    1. Good rant.
      If we want to make it an accurate rant let us revise it thusly;

      Downhill only 1/20th of the mountain, climb all of it.
      Dirt jump your dirt jumper only 1 time and commute on it the rest.
      Your road bike…awesome on pavement but you live in a town with only grass roads.

      It’s about use…it’s about need vs want.


  2. Ah. Careful with that need vs. want stuff, purveyor of SingleSpeed MTB’s (aka the most commonly owned “2nd bike” in all garages)

  3. Yeahhhh. I came here just to read this. And, so, you rip on fatbikes yet you have a business based on another arguably un-necessary sub-genre of bikes? Fuck off

  4. If you’re single-speeding through the forest and no one is watching, is it still cool?

    And your logic is bss-aackwards, it’s “your” groups 1 & 2 that WILL invest in Fat Bikes specifically because they are the types that will actually glean increased performance from Fat Bikes in Snow/Winter conditions.

    I’m almost tempted to dig back in your archives to find a post where “29’er” could be substituted everywhere “Fat Bike” appears in this steaming pile… but why bother knowing something when I can just assume it without trying it, just like you have here!

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