Anti-Race Del-Stalk Itinerary

There are those that, due in some small part to my propensity for rambling and the most rest of the part due to their inability to understand ramblings in the first place, are not entirely and totally up to speed on the 2013 Edition of ANTI-RACE and DEL-STALK.

As mentioned previously, there are some changes for 2013, good ones.

In the event that there are still some holes, let us fill them with an itinerary of semi-sorts:

Misfit Psycles presents Anti-Race Del-Stalk the itinerary

For those of you that might not appreciate the hand crafted nature of this offering:

0900-1100 – Head towards Collingwood – as you know your location better than anyone else it is fair to assume that you can select your own departure time (ideally one that would allow for an in-time arrival)

1100-1130Pre-Start #0 – Arrive at The Barn to drop any and all supplies that you may require/desire post Anti-Racing

1200Start #1 Anti-Race – Meet in Main Blue Mountain (Village Suites) parking lot for plates, pictures, plans.

1215 – Actually depart

1400Start #2 Anti-Race – Meet at Side Road 6 and Second Line (3 Stage) parking lot

1415 – Actually depart

1700Anti-Race Climax and Conclusion at The Barn

1700-1900 – Anti-Racers and the like are welcome to mill about enjoying all things of the this and that sort…beverages (of your own bringing) can and should be enjoyed (this is why you Pre-Start at 11-1130). Anti-Racers staying in the Village or otherwise departing just to return more clean, can do as they see fit until the start of DEL-STALK

1900Del-Stalk Begins. There will be food and prizes and zero reason to head into the village to spend monies…although monies might be appreciated to offset the cost of the barn and foods

All times are approximate.
Meaning, depending on the size of the final group, we might be late here or there.

That said.
So long as YOU are on time to the times listed, YOU WILL NOT BE LEFT BEHIND, we will not leave any of the points prematurely.

Del-Stalk Anti-Race 2013 – Official Capacity

I shall furthermore and henceforth assume for all that late is still better than never, at least as it pertains to the minutia surrounding this years DEL-STALK and ANTI-RACE.

First matter of the most utmost importance.

The 2013 poster has been completed:

Misfit Psycles presents: Del Stalk and Anti Race 2013

Not inarguably, my single solitary greatest work. EVER.

Poster quantities will be limited to the number of CONFIRMED persons, give or take a few. This poster will be more scarce than years past AND authentically signed (either by THE Cox himself or a suitable impostor).

Participants can pick up their poster at THE BARN during the pre-start start between 11:00 and 11:30 on Saturday October 19 (more details here).

The participant plate has been created:

Misfit Psycles presents: Del Stalk and Anti Race 2013

All Anti-Race participants will be provided a plate…assuming the numbers of YES’ are not less than the number of ATTENDEES.

The WINNER plate of much shame has been created:

Misfit Psycles presents: Del Stalk and Anti Race 2013

Only the ultimate winner will be bestowed the unhonour…who will it be?

If you need more details, which you do,  unless you are Del or myself , they can be found amidst the following drivel:

That is correct…you did not read wrongly…this years Del-Stalk Anti-Race poster can be forever commemorated on a TSHIRT or HOODIE.

Support Subversion, Buy the T-Shirt!

This is your chance to own part of Del Stalk Anti Race

BONUS: I will buy drinks for ANYEVERYONE wearing OFFICIAL Del-Stalk Anti-Race merchandise…promise.

Get Off of the Computer and Into My Race

The following text was delivered at some oddly hour yesterday;

I want you (at Crank next year).
Wanna swap some marketing, ideas, networking (your penis) for registration?

Specifics have all but been concealed until details can be concluded.

In timely news. I was directed to make use of this video. So this seems like the right place for it.

Suffice to say.
I responded.

Sure. Like. Okay.

Crank the Shield has been added to mine schedule.

Here’s to less time off the bike in 2014!

250$ Off

Short and sweet.
Seasons end is all but upon us.
So, to free up some space (of mind and warehouse) it’s time to shave a few dollars off of the diSSent ALC.

Coupon Code: BUYNOW
Will get you 250$ off the SRP.
The code only works on the diSSent ALC but it can be combined for FREE shipping in Canada.

Two Hundred and Fifty dollars off the Misfit Psycles dissent ALC 29er frame

Good until October 15 -or- when inventory says so.

Thats the it.



Not entirely unbeknownst to the mish-masses, Misfit Psycles has (once again) latched itself on (in a predictably dissentient manner) to yet another trending bicycle (industry) twist of phraseology, ENDURO™.

Our opening volley.

The intention?
Actually End Enduro™ or Sell More (of our) Shit without incurring expenses ordinarily associated with actually trying to promote a business.

Of course, my hopes lay with the latter because the former is just a word I didn’t use first.

The face in the crossed hairs of our Campaign?
Mr Enduro™ Jeff Kerkove.

Why Jeff?
Why not Jeff?
If not Jeff, who?
Fuck that, too much work.
We knew he’d never expect it.
Or expect to deserve it.

Be-doubling the cause, just because.

Just how persuasive was the first attack?
Well, Mr Enduro™ himself took some time away from lining Ergo Grips with cat foreskins to say something about our End Enduro™ Campaign™  that might have been (something) like this on Facebook.

What? Wait? How did you get this number?

Like that, Operation End Enduro™ is well and officially under the way.

There’s a few threads on Facebook regarding the Campaign (validation):



There’s a hash tag on Twitter (super validation):


As you are about to see. It’s trending the fuck out.

Right, oddly enough, it would seem that #unduro is currently more popular in non-english speaking countries and even more-so popular with Latino pop singsters.

One could suggest that campaign officials need be concerned with how often our untag is appearing in subjects irrelevant to End Enduro™


(Aside from not being bothered) our intelligence suggest that either Team Enduro™ is attempting to co-opted our tag OR this is just the way shit goes when you think you’ve made up a new word and fail to confirm the validity of this thought prior to going live.

Yang to the Ying

Straight out of this get gate I want to make it entirely clear and present to all, what you are about to read is an intentional attempt to counteract any and all niceties that could be (erroneously) construed as weakness following yesterdays (excellent) post: Do It For The Children.

I say that to be safe.
A disclaimer of sorts.
Because, as it so happens to be, a suggestion for a possible addendum has been made (on behalf of myself, by myself) to THIS CONTEST.

As an eventual result, it’s expected that LIESNSHITE will be bombarded by legions of hopeful (female) rider readers.

To the point.

It is entirely and totally everyones opinion (I have confirmed this all by myself) that way too much has already been made and said everywhere else about the rise of Enduro™.


Unlike last years Big Red Shit Button (The Fatty McFat Bike), Misfit Psycles has laid mostly on the lower side of Enduro™.

After all, who wants a repeat of all the couples of angry comments; ‘no, you’re irrelevant’ or ‘yeah, well you fuck off’ or ‘come to my fishing boat and you’ll die until you’re dead you dying dead fish boat fucker’, not me that’s who.

But then.

Ergon, a company we (generally and mostly) love for their Flagship Product, went and done did this:

Ergo Enduro™ Grips for Enduroing™

And, because bi-directional uni-handed Enduro™ Wack-up’n’down Rubbers aren’t enough.

They also did this:

You know what be Enduro™? If we Enduroed™ a saddle!

Well, fuck your money downhill.
They made a saddle.
And that saddle has a name.

I’m not sure I know what, if any, kind of influence Jeff Kerkove had in Ergon’s adoption of the Enduro™.


I want to make it completely and entirely clear that any and all of those excuses/reasons/justifications have been tossed to the aside and I (on behalf of all of you), further the more, we (I on behalf of all of you) want to make it also known (to just him) that he isn’t doing enough to STOP IT.

Perhaps that was the mistake we (mostly me) made in the Fuck Fat Bikes Fornever campaign.
We failed to personalize it.
We didn’t hold a random, guilty by association, athlete responsible and accountable for the entirety of the genre in ridicule.

Never and not again this time.

Jeff Kerkove.
YOU need to kill Enduro™.

If you do.
About fucking time.

If you do not.
I’m going to comment the shit out of your blog. “eewww Mr Enduro™ is so Enduroy™”
Shit like that.


I’m going to draw bitch ass porn moustaches on all the posters I have of you.
That’s going to be equal parts mean and funny because I know you can’t grow one.



Jeff Kerkove Ergon Enduro™ Athelete

Your move, Mr Enduro™.



Do It For The Children

From time to time and some of the time all too often, I am asked a simple question by people I don’t entirely hate.

What in the fuck are you doing? Better yet, why in the fuck?

The question, usually, pertains to my other baby.
This baby, Misfit Psycles.

I know what you’re thinking, so you punched them in the throat you did.
Not for that.
I’m neither angered nor surprised by the question (although I do wish they’d keep the profanity to a minimum – for today at least – there are children reading).

The truth is, many and most of the aforementioned peoples know the same thing that I have long known.
I make the monies I (and the boys three) NEED, anywhere else.

So why is it then?


I have an insatiable ego and a fragile sense of self worth that feeds on the temporary praise and fleeting admiration of the dozen(s) of Psycle fans.

It’s because, with Misfit I can be openly, entirely, and inequitably selfish.
I can and do things just for me under the guise of offering them to you.
And on some rare occasion, I can grant myself a full pardon for this behaviour because (on that once in all that while) I make a people or two happy.

What of this email?
This email will probably end up costing boy #1 his university tuition as I plod arrogantly onwards another year or so;


I want to thank you for making the diSSent kd.  It is truly a game changer for my son’s riding ability and his love for mountain biking.

First, I must admit that it making a sizable purchase for a kids’ bike frame was a tough sell when we already have a garage full of bikes.  However, the ability to use quality components from a 26” bike that I no longer ride was a checkmark in the “pros” column.  Eventually, with my insistent and non-stop bike talk and comparisons, my wife gave me the green light to go “look” at the frame.

Upon having comparisons with your sons’ assembled diSSent kd to my kids’ 20” and 24” mountain bikes, I could see the Misfit Psycles product shares similar geometry (standover, wheelbase, bar height, etc) with the 24” bike my son was going to get as a “hand-me-down” from his sister.  I could also see that the Misfit could be manipulated to grow with for some time.  However, the 24” hand-me-down would need some upgrades as the stock fork is a POS, and the components would not meet the demands of our energetic youngster.  Lighter, upgraded components are exciting for dad to research, shop for, and install, while differences on the bike are rarely noticed by the young operator.  Finally, selling such upgraded equipment earns dimes on the dollar when the youngest outgrows the equipment.  Doing an in-depth cost analysis confirmed that upgrading the 24” bike might not be as economical as the Misfit Psycles diSSent kd build with parts from the garage.

Misfit Psycles diSSent KD Build

Our son is small for almost being 8 years old and fits a 20” wheel mountain bike quite well and would for some time to come.  For Ben going from 20” to 26” wheels was twice the jump for me going from 26” to 29” wheels.  I was concerned that a soon to be eight year old would have more difficulty with the transition and become frustrated and reject the new bike.  However, having Benjamin ride your sons’ bike was the icing on the cake.  Ben’s success on that bike was immediate.  He pulled short wheelies, hopped up curbs, and flicked the bike around with ease.  I was convinced Ben could handle the rotating mass of the bigger wheels without difficulty…so we bought a frame for him (and one for me too).

Misfit Psycles diSSent KD Build

We were anxious to build up his bike.  Within two days of getting the frame home, the bike was ready for a test ride.  Benjamin helped in all stages of the build except the rebuild and lowering of the Fox fork.  This whip was no weight weenie build, it has Mavic 317 rims on Deore hubs and Small Block 8s with tubes, Truvativ Stylo cranks and GXP bottom bracket with Deore SPD pedals, Surly 32T chainring with RaceFace bashguard, XT 9 speed rear mech with Deore  trigger shifter,  Avid Elixir 3 brakes, Race Face carbon riser bar, 50mm stem, 6” Ritchey seat post, and kids saddle.  Complete bike weighs in around 23.5 lbs.  Ben weighs 60lbs and we run about 12lbs of air in the tubed tires.

Misfit Psycles diSSent KD Build

Tests rides went amazing!  On his 20″, I would consider him an advanced rider for his age and size.  Getting this build was an instant multiple-level boost!  We have logged about 250km of trail rides together.  We easily ride 60km of single-track each week.  Ben is nailing climbs he would not attempt before.  He was always a natural at riding slow speed balance focused elevated stunts and he continues to be on the new bike.  His average speed has increased.  He rails and accelerates out of turns.  He stands and sprints like he is doing intervals.  He attacks the terrain and creek crossings.  He no longer drags his rear brake.  His confidence level has soared.  Everyday he asks to go for a ride and replays the memories we make on the trails while I follow him.  He never says he is tired or wants to rest.  He often tries to lead group rides and many times lands mid-pack upon return to the parking lot after a 20km trail loop.

Misfit Psycles diSSent KD Build

For building the frames, I thank you.  My wife says I have created a monster that eats, sleeps, and breaths bikes.  Thank-you for your contribution to our monster.  I believe it is a hugely positive creation and I pray that he finds lifelong enjoyment from the sport that we passionately share.

I hope we can get the boys out on the trail sometime so you can witness Ben’s enjoyment with his new Misfit Psycles diSSent kd whip!


So. There. Explanation enough.

I would like the record to show that I did NOT take the opportunity to sully this moment with grande BUY NOW buttons…but I could have…and you should…really.

This Was Going To Be a Post

Instead, let’s just insert the usual rant about upgrading WordPress to the latest and greatest only to find through error that something somewhere doesn’t like something else as a result of the upgrade.

I lost the (intended) post draft and then spent the subsequent hour identifying the offending someshit so that I could remove it.

While I waited, I made you this.

Fuck This That and Every Other

What I wanted to say, another time.

It’s a Start

So and thus far I have attended (albeit in a non-riding capacity) TWO events in the past FOUR days.

Eager Beaver 100

Tuesday Night Fun Series

Nothing all or entirely impressive, aside from the fact that it has rejuvenated intentions and plans for all the better in 2014.

It has come to be told and so now everyone knows, the cycling season ends and begins with Misfit Psycles Internationally Acknowledged: DEL-STALK & ANTI-RACE.

Watch you should the event FACEPAGE and even the (more) OFFICIALPAGE.

Collingwood (ON) remains the base. Three Stage remains the (host) trails. Jager remains the official hydrant. October 19 remains the day to rule them all.
There are some planning(s) afoot to keep the apres party better together…and more social…and cheaper…and possibly, so much more sexy…

Del Stalk Anti Race 2013 Poster outline

Your Sources Can Go to Hell

It would appear that mine own bad news of the (to)day was scooped by the charlatan from Charlotte – Dick Dillen.

You should probably read what he wrote before continuing.
Not because it’s true, which it’s not or I wouldn’t go to all the trouble of saying it wasn’t, but because he used more relevant words than I care to and the result is (ultimately) the same – the primary difference being that I do plan on saying it for myself when I’m good and ready – which is in about three paragraphs from now.

As it pertains to the 2013 Breck Epic and Misfit PsyclesMisfit Psycles (and Peter Keiller) would like to set that particular record another kind of straight:

Fuck Rich Dillen*

* collectors t-shirt pending.

I am still intending to attend the Breck Epic until such a time that I (alone by myself) say for myself that I am not intending to attend.

Rich Dillen is not the boss of me.

That all (un)said.
If I did in fact make the difficult decision of NOT attending this years Breck Epic, effectively ending my string of finishes against all of their odds, you best be knowing it would be for a reason (probably many) well above and beyond the minutia of funding, family and fitness.

But, if I’m being honest, those are pretty much and entirely the reasons.

I have been riding.

Urban night riding without a light is just as dumb as you'd think it is

I have been training and then cross training.

A house is not a house without rollers a stationary trainer and a lacrosse rebounder in the living room.

I am more ready (today) than I was yesterday for the 2013 edition of the Breck Epic.

Stop reading here until such a time as you can prepare yourself for some grave and sad news of another and same sort.

It is with much regret and a great (manly) sadness that Misfit Psycles must withdraw from the 2013 edition of the Breck Epic.

Circumstances (mostly but admittedly not entirely) beyond any measure of our control have made the fiscal logistics all but unpossible.

Misfit Psycles withdraws! Racers of the 2013 Breck Epic will need to complete her SEVEN stages ALONE.

Although the boys three and I would have loved a road-trip to spectate, this too was outside the parameters of our position.

Instead, the boys three (and me) will be travelling (by car) east. Well east.
For that entire and total time we will be imposing our presence on the kindness of friends until they ask us to leave.

The Keiller boys family vacation of doom

If you reside along our (currently) poorly planned route, please submit a summary of your intended (guest) accommodations and any other relevant details that may sway us to stop and eat your food.