BUY SOMETHING AT PSYCLESTORE:
Until February 8th, 2009 create or re-create an account at PSYCLESTORE, use the COUPON code NEWSTORE at checkout and ALL orders will recieve 15% OFF.
If you don’t…
We WILL make staffing changes.
YOUR in-action and lack of partici-paction WILL fuel the fire of economic decline in the civilized world.
YOU WILL cost small children dearly…you don’t want that burden…
NEWSWIRE: January 28th 2009 – Ottawa, ON
PSYCLESTORE REBUFFED – NO BAILOUT FOR YOU!
In a what is the most surprising news event at the Caledon Chamber of Commerce this year, local business magnate Peter Keiller, visited the Cat House of Wellington St.
The PsycleStore, MisfitPsycles and all of it’s fractional and fictional subsidiaries is THE leading employer and producer of cycling based things in the court of Dingle area of Bolton (within the town of Caledon).
The PsycleStore recently suffered traumatic and potentially debilitating loses at the hands of hosting devils 1&1 and several other more nameless adversaries. The damage was amassed during a 72hr DEAD-ZONE while the Corporation conducted massive structural and aesthetic upgrades to it’s antiquated infrastructure. This sort of ‘shovel ready‘ spending initiative is both endorsed and encouraged by Federal Money Monger Jim Flaherty in his recent budget.
A spokespersonality for the Empire put the losses in the hundreds of AMERICAN dollars.
In a recent telephone interview the Corporate personality likened said Corporation to the ailing automotive industry :
“We make stuff, it’s not the best stuff, but it’s stuff and it’s ours and we are here, not there. Some of the stuff is more expensive compared to imports. But our wages are higher. We spend more on electronics and polished trinkets. It is true, we primarily designed the stuff because we wanted it, not because the market wanted to purchase it, so you could say we are pioneers. Like settlers. Like settlers that arrived in Canada one glorious summer and decided to set up shop. Then after that first winter came and went, we STAYED, instead of getting the fawk out. Pioneering this great tundra for the sake of four seasons. We need your support, we need your money.”
The Parliament Hill was unavailable for comment but we suspect that the response would have been something like this:
“Thank you for contacting the office of the supreme leader of Alberta (the Commonwealth formerly known as Canada), we appreciate your interest, the urgency of your issue, the nature of your concern and so forth and so on. Regretfully we cannot accommodate your interest/issue/concern at this time. If you live in Quebec please direct all of your concerns to the Liberal antichrists who promised you a voice in the coalition, outside of Quebec, please contact the french bastards in Quebec who are trying to destroy your freedoms and make your eat curdled cheese products and say fondue when you sneeze.”
Stay Tuned for more great-breaking news on the PsycleStore, MisfitPsycles and all the other plots that comprise marble town.