Breck Epic: Stage 1

The how and what that are Breck Epic Stage 1 may or not make the pages of LIESNSHITE.

As it turns out, Mike McCormack may or may not have whored my thoughts out to BIKEMAG.

Of course I am incapable of ‘professional’ grade thoughts.
Altering point of perspective is not an option.

In the event that the bile I spew forth to BIKE isn’t…appropriate…I will cut and paste a day later…first refusal.

Just in case, a little something.

Dicky done prepared a revised ratio for Stage 2…evidently 23T wasn’t what it was supposed to be.

I’m not saying I’m proud of my performance today, but I am thankful, it could have been a whole fuck-of-a-lot worse.


Hotel (room) sources;




Other sources (so far);



Still no ONLINE results…anyone?  Anyone?

Bike Rumour MEDIA CUP

Just dropped and official.

Not the event.
Our participation.

BIKE RUMO(u)R Media Cup.

FACT:  Inclusion was offered to the more popular and influential media types attending the BRECK EPIC.

FACT:  When that list quickly ran out those same media-moguls determined they needed someone to beat.

FACT:  LIESNSHITE is widely considered neither popular nor influential*.

*We consider our exclusion from ALL lists to be our single greatest acknowledgement.

FACT:  Identifiers such as POPULAR and INFLUENTIAL are undesirable indicators of mainstream approval.  Designations statistically applied to sites/corporations/personas in accordance to some diabolical OMG BFF cyber-system of social conformity.

FACT:  We don’t want to be popular, we don’t want to be influential.  That’s our story.  That’s why.

CONCLUSION:  The man is trying to co-opt our social impotence!

It’s so big and other facts.

As a person that has dedicated the more superficial aspects of existence to perpetually pursuing presentation on the cutting edge of haute, I know hot.
Like all progressives, sometimes, I know hot while it is still entirely cold.
Such avant pursuits require a enhanced instance of consideration, else-wise they may be seen as missteps, oddities or perversions.

Proclivity is an expensive, thankless bitch.

In December LIESNSHITE carefully collected “The ULTIMATE Cyclist’s Gift Guide“.

A public service of sorts, assisting those that would-for-you with a less refundable, more appropriate fiscal direction as it concerns merry material endowments.

Much essential research is exhausted in such a collective.
Exposed to many super superfluous things we were.


On day two, three of the five items listed were time-keeper-pieces.
As someone who doesn’t know, you wouldn’t know it (based on this lack of knowledge or on my personal problems with punctuality), BUT, I have a penchant for pendulums.

Mix together December’s extended exposures with my moderate to mental illness and a surplus PayPal balance (the result of USD/CAD parity) and you have several forgotten (deniably speaking) purchases.

Enter.  Mr post man.
Some shite.  Some more shite.
And one GIANT watch.

It didn’t look GIANT on the internet.
It looked just as GIANT as you see here.
So.  Just how GIANT?

Bigger than bigger GIANT.

Wallet GIANT.

Mighty mouse GIANT.


Nutcracker GIANT.

50% GIANTER than my favourite of all-time time piece GIANT.

Are you a man or a hairy woman wearing a large man’s watch GIANT.

Eighteen tooth GIANT.

Breck Buckle GIANT.

Blackberry GIANT.

If I ever start riding this thing, I won’t be wearing that thing GIANT.

Yes.  Watches are trending SMALLER.
The appropriate usage of the word TRENDING coupled with a full frontal acknowledgement of pre-destined failure to comply (with the previously mentioned trend) should ensure that any decision to lug this piece around will be done in the most retractable way presumable.

As if hearing no less than two women scream ‘it’s too big’ wasn’t enough, my new TSOVET also enabled me to proclaim It’s Hero Time!

That is, for once I was able to declare that I had transformed into Swamp Fire during bedtime discussions with BOTH boy #2 and boy #3.

Boy #1 was less impressed, he claimed Big Ben (see previous reference to temporary alien transformation and NOT the overtly obvious large faced bell tower) had gouged large chunks of flesh from his back and that his retina were irreparably burned by the face’s luminescent glow.

I Hate You

Among other reasons, I hate you because of the offseason.

Realistically speaking, the best one can hope for (during the offseason) is to impede a complete erosion of fitness.

Many cyclists, too many cyclists, relish the affirmation that their season ‘knows no end’.

They declare with a heaping helping of superiority that, for them, ‘cycling is a lifestyle’.

These cyclists are duct taped grocery bag sock wearing idiots*.

*And jerks. And stupid.  And should be abhorred WHILE being publicly beaten with fat sticks.  Sticks of disproportionate diameter NOT necessarily sticks designed specifically to beat the fat…although I firmly do believe that an increased number of fat sticks (sticks designed to beat the fat for being fat) WOULD help alleviate the impending crush on our socialized medical systems.

Weather is NOT the predominating impetus for the offing.
At least, it doesn’t have to be.

The offseason is a naturally occurring phenomenon.
It is a resultant concessionary FACT.
A statistical bi-product of a delicate seasonal equation.

Opportunity to Interest to Investment to Output to Satisfaction.

Full season riding is not efficient.
Winter riding is a not training.
Full season riding is not practical nor financially viable.
Winter riding is, at best, an excuse not to do something more productive.

Sadly, winter riding is yet another indication that narcissism is firmly entrenched in the elastane fiber of simply being a cyclist.

Previously at LIESNSHITE we have discussed, rather I have posthumously and pejoratively declared (to your fervent approval) , mine own repugnance towards what is a seemingly veracious vanity* expounded by the majority of cyclists.

*In conventional parlance, vanity is the excessive belief in one’s own abilities or attractiveness to others.

Take a look around.
At your next ‘race’.

Cyclists are why cycling isn’t more popular.

To the non-pedalic public cyclists are of the lessthanlikeable sort…obsessive, conceded, self righteous, vain, insecure and odd.

Cyclists are to sport what Hummers are to evolution.

Superficially speaking, the general public considers cyclists amongst the mostly detestable underbelly of society.

Politicians, lawyers, car salesmen, more lawyers, bankers, plus size lingerie models and myself.

Cyclists.  Motorists hate them.  Pedestrians hate them.  Bike shop employees hate them.

What seperates cyclists from these ‘other’ unlikeables is simple…

  • The ‘other’ unlikeables KNOW that society doesn’t like them.
  • Society (albeit begrudgingly) NEEDS this collection of unlikeables.

Not buying it?

Of course not.

You’re a cyclist and you KNOW sooo much better.


Not necessarily in this order.

  • diSSent (ALC) pre-buy.
  • diSSent (AL) pre-buy.
  • diSSent (FE) availability.
  • Offseason Training Tips.  We (the experts) discuss how my (new) 2010 offseasoning will allow for 33% MORE pummeling of the PORTLY PEPPER and a 14% FURTHER fling of the PUNY DING.
    Regrettably I was unable to come up with something appropriate for ThadThad Thad he’s not THAT bad…was nearly condescending enough but not.
  • More contempt for cyclists.

That is all.

A Tangle Web

So much be new.
So much to follow.
So much for thoughtful content.  Or being content.
Akin to incontinent.

It would stand to MY omnipotent reason that, in the abscess of appropriate inventory levels, a fully integrated social security network would continue to effect the kind of ghetto marketing mass appeal that has propelled The Great and Powerful Misfit Psycles Empire into the forefront of cycledum to begin with.


And so on.

As part and parcel of the social ties, one update begets the next.
A cyber casting of the net, our pseudo Psycle spatter spurts further and farther.

Twitter posts to Liesnshite posts to Facebook posts to Twitter.

The irony of this resultant intent is not lost.
This is the kind of superficial stigma what for necessitated the erection of toweringly shelves of vacuousness in the first place.

Success despite itself.
Failure for the win.

Effective immediately.

Fukya is the new no.
Yes, I will be your friend.
As such and matter of fact, I am no longer going to answer for who I (personally or otherwise) befriend on FACEBOOK or follow on Twitter.

I need friends, if you have to ask, so do you.

I won’t write, I won’t visit, I won’t promise a thing beyond the socio-padding of your popularity.
Together we can crush Fellow Friender Dicky.

The real reason for the resurrection?

Why the addition of a PSYCLE FAN PAGE of course.
A page for the little people to look up the proverbial power-kilt of awesome.

For you.

As of 16:06:32 01/02/10 – eighty four fans.

More importantly.

This and that is and are less about the wee folk who can’t buy what we don’t have in stock.
It is more the little things.


Domestic debates and Packaging predicaments to name my two.

Discussions that would for a viable enterprise cost thousands to determine.

Riveting as they may be, these discussions don’t have to end there.
Discussions can come to be just about anything else you might want to slap about with internetional anonymity.

All the furor of a forum without the bandwidth.

Happy buying.

Until then.

Upgrades For Suckers


Obviously.  This is our format of choice.

The reasons are unimportant mostly.

Early in 2009 we made the leap from version 2.2 to 2.7.
Not an easy task when dealing with a moderately customized site…not for meWee Tom handled it admirably.

One of the features of version 2.7 was the addition of the WordPress UPGRADER.
This is the assumed ability to upgrade ANY version of WordPress with the simple click of a mouse.

For idiots like me.
Keeping Wee Tom me free.

Regrettably the upgrader ne’er functioned.  Not as intended.  Not for this we.

Congratulations, your version of WordPress has been Upgraded!

Evidentially this is geek for “Your olde (working) shit went here, new (not yet working) shit went there.  There were lots and lots of bits bot and some important files moved to the other place.  Everything seems like it might be okay unless it’s not.  Remember, donate to us today!“.
In actual terms and simply put, it marooned the site in a perpetual state of “Maintenance“.
When it didn’t fail entirely.

Index files and the backups they presumably generated, each overwritten.

Only a reversion to the previous version would correct the problem.

Files deleted, versions swapped and plenty of down time would be the only product of my fruit.

You must have missed something, try it again, this time – be more careful.

So, careful as I could be, I depressed the UPGRADE NOW button and followed each prompt “THIS STEP WAS SUCCESSFULLY COMPLETED.  CLICK HERE TO CONTINUE” to a motherfucking t.

Fail.  Reset.
Fail.  Reset.
Fail.  Reset.

Despite this apparently predictable outcome, a large UPGRADE NOW button would great me each and every single time I logged in to LIESNSHITE.

Periodically and partially invigorated, I would click the UPGRADE button.
Periodically I would reset to version 2.7.

When version 2.9 appeared in mid December…I tried again.


Today was no exception…as some may have found out.

Fail, Fail, Fail.

In the end it was an olde fashioned Manual Upgrade that would get the job partially done.

Despite the addition of numerous clicks, FTP access and sortation of the Content and Image folders…the entire arduous untechico process was completed in less time then it had previously taken to reactivate the Backup version.

So.  Nothing bike related.  Nothing really relevant.  But since we’re off the topic, just what can I do now that I could not do without WordPress 2.9?

Now I can sometimes edit images IN WordPress.

I tried 3 images with a 100% Fail rating.


Randum Uptakes: Take One

Liesnshite has been silentnshite of latesnshite, that is, less more than normal.

Primarily and mostly, unintentionally so.

Obviously there are still grande globular thoughts, there are still real world synth-pop references, there are still countless injustices incurred at our expense and there are still random conversations worthy of report.

November 23, 2009.  Luggage carousel #4 YVR.
Youngish, predictably business looking man-boy.  Uncertainly over confident, attempting to strike up a random (but pant dropping) conversation with measurably older (though arguably-attractive-enough-for-her-age), just as predictably business’ey but more management’ish lady:

“Excuse me?”
“Traveling.  I mean, I travel, I don’t mind it.”
“Ya.  Crazy, random, that’s me, everything I do is totally random.  Everyday I wake up and I tell myself, let’s mix it up.  Let’s be random.  It helps me get ahead.”
Silence.  Looks to BlackBerry for salvation…
“Like this whole trip.  The trip is crazy and random.  They just said one day, ‘get out there‘, so out I went and here I am.  Ya.”
Shakes BlackBerry vigorously…
“Ya.  So what are you here for?”

Truth be told, this is mostly a self educed gag-order.

Not quite the requisite result of the overtly sensitive nature of specific transpiration’s.
More a communicary hangover, of sorts.
Resultant from an unexpected influx of genuine work.

Common Def’n:
Work (adj)
to exert oneself physically or mentally in order to do, make, or accomplish something.

Psycle Def’n:
Work (adj) to exert oneself for some (mostly) avoidable reason, the resultant bi-product of a more specific failure in one (or more) of the delicate self-employed arts; deflection, denial and delay.

Rather than wax specifically on these or other less literal meanderings, below is the first-part of a two-part recital on a few other things that continue to pre-occupy this and that.

Nefarious Things Statistic Update

Misfit Psycles diSSent (Al)

  • INVENTORY clear-out extended
    • 100usd OFF
    • Coupon code: dissent100
    • Initially intended as a rouse to distract the distractible  the original discount put a greater than anticipated dent in remaining inventories.  As a result, ALL sizes have been increase for the next release.  The discount has been extended to ALL of the remaining diSSent inventory.  An everything must go sale without the door-closing (currently small and extra large ONLY)
    • First paid, first shipped
    • No rain cheques
    • Current diSSent (Al) turn around.  48hrs
  • DROPOUT Mk.iv (considered)
    • Yes.  Pre Mk.iii full release
    • Lighter weight
    • Lesser Rohloff
    • Greater (ratio) range
    • Morer Lepper.  This is NOT a misprint
  • DOMESTIC production sample
    • Sample ETA January 2010
    • Possible SRP 500-700usd
    • Possible availability TBA

Misfit Psycles Holiday Hullaballoo


  • DATE
    • Tentatively speaking Saturday December 19th
    • TBA – Riding by invitation, apres party by default and the likes
    • Are for deanimals

Misfit Psycles Holiday Purchases

  • NEW ‘Econo’ ITEMS
    • New’ish design(s) TBA
    • Basic T’s – SRP 10usd
    • Basic Hoodie – SRP 25usd
    • A date with Mark Lepper – SRP 150usd (160usd for men)
    • 25% off ALL ‘Wearables
    • Coupon code: zumbapants
    • INTERNATIONAL – You’re mostly almost already fucked
    • USA – Postal – December 10th
    • USA – UPS Std – December 15th
    • USA – UPS Exp – TBA
    • CAN – Postal – December 18th
    • CAN – UPS – December 22
    • Times are suggested and guidelines only…we are not shipping scientists, jolly elves or even remotely very short…just use your head, plan ahead, pay extra and have a nice day

diSSent (Fe)
Parody Carbon Fork
Nummers and how it relates to JoyRide 150

These and more, not to mention other less exciting things to come from in the future.


I was confident, NOTHING on NOTHING could EVER topple the dueling penis’ (possibly penii?) as best spam (missed by miMac).


While the image might just as well be approaching priceless, the message text is straight out of LIESNSHITE.
Quite possibly more comprehensible.

Heaven bless her! What more can they want? We can manage it all between us. What horrible work this chemistry is! What do you mean? I’m glad cigar store Indians don’t drink.
It’s only a name. So that there is no mistake. Won’t you come too? You know that. It was fresh. You never saw a boy scattered so. Is Eliza all right? You can resign the office. But you must make it very clear. And yet what else can we do? Then it was buckled shut.
Where was that friend or enemy now? The spot came whirling towards him. We need magic. Zane pushed it. But what happened instead? He was deathly afraid. It is Maple White Land.
Of those we ate many. Something like that. The texture is the same. But there is a limit. He forced himself to stillness and listened. The earth never moved before? They’re all gone to bed. Keep your head down and hang on! They are all praying!

I don’t know what viagra is, but it’s going in Skinners coffee.

Coming up:


Popularity Phase Won

At precisely 23:59:59 Sunday September 6th a 30,000′ spacial snapshot of LIESNSHITE psyclotraffic was obtained and archived.

Peculiar and specific attention was associated to inbound link sources and volumetricies since 00:00:01 Monday August 10th.

This is, understandably, a monumental task.

For the past many hours an obscenely large and generally impressive sounding computronic device has been sitting diligently on the data.
Intending to eventually be carefully crunching, crossing, absolving and analyzing the specific traffics in accordance with the complex matrix of recompense guaranteed by the terms previously set forth.

While these records were being ministered, officers of the Empire worked tirelessly on other pressing matters of the highest environmental prioritymultitasking made simple.

The ensuing results, since tabulated, are essentially ready for review.

What we have is a concise compilation of the PHASE ONE Winners*.

*It is FACTUALLY accurate that the WINNERS listed have WON.
It is also FACTUAL that the NON-WINNERS (everyone else) are LOSERS.

Note: The Misfit Psycles Corporation makes NO assertions whatsoever that the WINNERS of THE Contest contest are actual WINNERS nor that the LOSERS may not be…losers.  Or winners for that matter.

THE Contest contest will make several (some possibly worthy) personalities more the wealthier for their strategic association with the Empire.

This is the sort of tangible wealth that flutters thisly and thusly from the good folks at Misfit Psycles on an all-to regular basis.
This is the sort of self-less generosity that will (in due process) garner upon the leaders of same, a saint-like hood in the annuls of PSYCLEDOM.

This is also one of the many of reasons officers of the Corporation have been reduced to coupon hunting for necessities like AIRWOLF Season One.

Phase ONE Winner:…


Not quite the landslide his Dickness would expect from his pressumed celebrity status.
In fact not even remotely impressive.

What’s done is done and given his relative, and repeatedly restated, state of uninterest…look for Dicky’s prize to grace the pages of eBay in the near future.

We, the unselfish, simply hope he utilizes the funds to find a cure for what ails him.

Phase ONE Randum Winner:



In the pre-presumed event that Mr (or Mrs) BLOGGED are unavailable, RANDOM.ORG spewed forth the #32 for use as the alternate.


Zoinks.  This winning link came from a locked forum topic (undoubtedly gloating about their HAN not quite forth place finish over Corporate Psycles).
Sadly, like the randum winner they were intended to replace, a definitive source could NOT be associated with a specific human.

In the interest of NOT spiraling this particular category into randumly generated unfinitism…someone that is them or someone that knows anyone of them, should contact us* to claim their wicked awesome prize.

*In the event that we are not contacted by SHB BEFORE Friday September 11th, Thadipuss will be crowned the randum winner.  Not just because we like him but because a) we already have an UBER ALLES tee ready to snail towards him b) we have already paid the postage on same c) we have even already packed a hat…that’s what they call an ABC trifecta of frugality.

Phase ONE Shill Winner:


His incredibly ingenious interlinking within the confines of the Regional Forums of MTBR was a bold move…many would-be rivals attempted far more grandious audiences and FAILED.
The 24hr thread gained so much steam over it’s course that it nearly unseated SNOW and and their sickly sweet plot of cyberspider baiting.

Marc is hereby OFFICIALLY notified (through the text of this blog – he now has 30 whole minutes to claim his prize) concerning the fifty free dollars he just garnered OFF his (incidentally) currently ON THE WAITING LUST diSSent (Fe).


  • Winners aren’t necessarily worthy…
  • Randum is just that…
  • Winners may already be winners…


  • There is still time.
    THE Contest contest doesn’t end until October 1st, 2009
  • The clock is invariably reset on the randum and shill categories for Phase Two.
    THAT winner, could be YOU.
  • When Misfit Psycles Wins.  We ALL win.
    We just happen to benefit financially and you (usually) don’t.

This (topic) was crap and mostly uninteresting.
Except to the winners.

Having since accepted that, we regret to inform that there just isn’t enough energy remaining to salvage it.
Publish as-is it-is.