Among other reasons, I hate you because of the offseason.
Realistically speaking, the best one can hope for (during the offseason) is to impede a complete erosion of fitness.
Many cyclists, too many cyclists, relish the affirmation that their season ‘knows no end’.
They declare with a heaping helping of superiority that, for them, ‘cycling is a lifestyle’.
These cyclists are duct taped grocery bag sock wearing idiots*.
*And jerks. And stupid. And should be abhorred WHILE being publicly beaten with fat sticks. Sticks of disproportionate diameter NOT necessarily sticks designed specifically to beat the fat…although I firmly do believe that an increased number of fat sticks (sticks designed to beat the fat for being fat) WOULD help alleviate the impending crush on our socialized medical systems.
Weather is NOT the predominating impetus for the offing.
At least, it doesn’t have to be.
The offseason is a naturally occurring phenomenon.
It is a resultant concessionary FACT.
A statistical bi-product of a delicate seasonal equation.
Opportunity to Interest to Investment to Output to Satisfaction.
Full season riding is not efficient.
Winter riding is a not training.
Full season riding is not practical nor financially viable.
Winter riding is, at best, an excuse not to do something more productive.
Sadly, winter riding is yet another indication that narcissism is firmly entrenched in the elastane fiber of simply being a cyclist.
Previously at LIESNSHITE we have discussed, rather I have posthumously and pejoratively declared (to your fervent approval) , mine own repugnance towards what is a seemingly veracious vanity* expounded by the majority of cyclists.
*In conventional parlance, vanity is the excessive belief in one’s own abilities or attractiveness to others.
Take a look around.
At your next ‘race’.
Cyclists are why cycling isn’t more popular.
To the non-pedalic public cyclists are of the lessthanlikeable sort…obsessive, conceded, self righteous, vain, insecure and odd.
Cyclists are to sport what Hummers are to evolution.
Superficially speaking, the general public considers cyclists amongst the mostly detestable underbelly of society.
Politicians, lawyers, car salesmen, more lawyers, bankers, plus size lingerie models and myself.
Cyclists. Motorists hate them. Pedestrians hate them. Bike shop employees hate them.
What seperates cyclists from these ‘other’ unlikeables is simple…
- The ‘other’ unlikeables KNOW that society doesn’t like them.
- Society (albeit begrudgingly) NEEDS this collection of unlikeables.
Not buying it?
Of course not.
You’re a cyclist and you KNOW sooo much better.
Not necessarily in this order.
- diSSent (ALC) pre-buy.
- diSSent (AL) pre-buy.
- diSSent (FE) availability.
- Offseason Training Tips. We (the experts) discuss how my (new) 2010 offseasoning will allow for 33% MORE pummeling of the PORTLY PEPPER and a 14% FURTHER fling of the PUNY DING.
Regrettably I was unable to come up with something appropriate for Thad…Thad Thad he’s not THAT bad…was nearly condescending enough but not.
- More contempt for cyclists.
That is all.