Your Half Assed Holiday

One week to go.

This makes each and every passing day at the Corporation a little busier, a little more intense, a little more precious then normal.
Well, despite CONTINUOUS warnings concerning Christmas shipping cutoffs…orders keep rolling in…LATE.

“You have to get it here in time!”
“You are our only hope Misfit Psycles…” 

YOUR happiness and the happiness of the FREE WORLD rests (once more) on our broad shoulders.

This made yesterdays trip to the post orifice a little more sweeter.
Not because the corporation enjoys seasonal line ups, not because the corporation enjoys indifferent grumpy staff and certainly not because the FACE of the corporation enjoys being chased by paparazzi at every turn.


No.  Because YESTERDAY, yesterday the postal demons offered something for the corporation.

First we have the usual fan mail.
Obviously from young children just now mastering the use of INK as a medium.  How nice.


What is this?  Totally forgot that sometime in the springading I pre-ordered the latest and greatest of somesuch.


No.  The Misfit Psycles Corporation of Flaming Death is not planning on designing a sleepy cycle.  We just happen to think that Mike Burrows is opinionated enough to be interesting.

A quick flip through BICYCLE DESIGN and I am prepared to declare:

It promises an interesting read.  
The book is compact and the font is large.  
For the short of beans types, there are plenty of pictures.

First order down.  

Back to the fan mail.
Or is it?

NO.  It’s a TEAM SPEED Christmas! 
This would be a right proper ghetto card had they not splurged for coloured ink and heavy stock paper.
Practically HALLMARK quality.
The 10 Commandments of TEAM SPEED.
Obviously someone read The Rebel Sell.

So.  Just what IS this card?

  1. A heart felt and legitimate well wishing of Christmas joy to the Corporation.
  2. Pure unadulterated propaganda as TEAM SPEED attempts to gain legitimacy in the Southern Ontario Cycling Pscene.
  3. A sopping wet kiss to the BUTTOCKS of the Corporation.  “You are our only hope Misfit Psycles…” 
  4. Nothing more then a belated soggyass excuse for an apology (no doubt for their role in the TUESDAY NIGHT FINALE and erroneous support of young Lowry). 

I will give you a hint.

It is NOT #1.
It IS #2,3,4.

Despite the obviously shallow intentions, the Corporation will acknowledge that this is a start SPEEDSTERS.

So.  Assuming that you will be able to suck your way back into the good books of Dingle we have begun plotting the TEAM SPEED frames:

Oscar approved.

0 thoughts on “Your Half Assed Holiday”

  1. Wow. We’re guessing from all the fuss you made about our card it must have been the only one you’ve got so far this Christmas. We’re glad you’ve enjoyed it so much. Thanks for noticing what fine quality paper we were able to steal from work during these dark economic times. We especially like the Team Speed frame, we just hope it can withstand going for 24 hours and we are not sure if we’re sold on its ability to climb, not that that would stop us.
    In all sincerity, We hope every one has a great Christmas (#1) and look forward to the spring.
    TEAM SPEED!!!!

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